Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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