the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
