I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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