i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
