seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
