Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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