There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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