is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
