and you said cock pushups were impossible
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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