I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Randomize
