In the future we'll all be gay
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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