You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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