told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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