One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
