i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
