I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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