he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
