How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
