i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
PANTIES FOUND
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