So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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