i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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