grandma shit on top of the toilet
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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