You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
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I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
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you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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