My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
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