No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
