Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We are two peas in an std pod
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Randomize
