He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
