Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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