i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
