What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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