i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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