windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
