I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
