Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
