So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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