check it out our google latitudes are spooning
apparently the secret to your success is patron
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
