this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
third nipple confirmed
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
