The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
