Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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