Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
