tonight lets celebrate not being married
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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