Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it