Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.