I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I spit up blood this morning
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.