Don't you send me to vm
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye