I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Randomize
