Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Boobs are out for the taking
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
