Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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