i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
