sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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