your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
When did angry sex become our thing?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize
