The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
