Will you blow on my dice?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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