I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
