yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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