your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
