we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
