he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i think i have herpe
just one?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
