Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
