Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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