oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
