just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Your topless pictures make me question reality
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
