You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
