I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize