I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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