Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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