I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
